Hey Andrew,

I know how you feel right now. That urge is intolerably strong and you feel like blowing some of that sweet flavored smoke out of your mouth will be the fix to all your problems. Well, I’ve got some things I wanted you to consider before hitting your local vape shop and falling back into the grips of nicotine.

First, I want to address all of the benefits. I wrote out a list of the downsides of vaping a while back to use as a reference during times of weakness, but I never made a list of the upsides – which are the only things I bet your thinking about right now. Getting a vape would…

• Give You a Vice to Substitute for Smoking Weed Because the Weed Has Too Many Adverse Effects
• Help Ground You
• Give You the Nice Dizzy Feeling for a Few Minutes
• Feel Nice
• Be Good for Sex

That’s all the benefits I could really think of. A big one is when the weed is too much for the time. Perhaps you have some things to be attentive too but you really want to smoke – vaping is a good alternative because you don’t have to worry about getting too high and not being able to do whatever it is you have to.

Another big one is sex. When you have a vape, sex feels better because you have the distracting sensation of the nicotine high to offset your senses and help you last longer. Vaping is proven to lower your sex drive and perhaps this is the intended consequence that allows you to be more connected and present during sex. This is probably another reason you’re missing the vape right now. This one I don’t have a simple solution for – but I do have some downsides that may outweigh the devious rational you’re using right now to justify your upcoming purchase.

On the negative side, vaping would…

• Be a Needless Expense of $40 Because You’ll End Up Throwing It Away After a Few Days
• Make You Weaker Athletically
• Cause Back and Neck Pain
• Mess with Your Stomach
• Act as an Appetite Suppressant
• Becoming Disappointing After a Few Days
• Increase Feelings of Stress and Anxiety
• Have a Hold on You to the Point of Making You Think Only About Your Next Hit

You’re not at your best when your vaping and you certainly can’t achieve the goal of going to the gym regularly when your oxygen levels are being depleted. There was a study done on vaping and researchers found that, “Vaping reduced the amount of oxygen in the blood by 20 percent, and made the walls of the blood vessels more rigid and stiff—a symptom often associated with cardiovascular diseases like hypertension and stroke.” “Smoking and vaping deplete oxygen-rich blood that you need for endurance and fitness.” I know sometimes it seems like a useful thing to have, a way to smoke without getting high and ruining the day, but I need you to slow down and think it through. You don’t want to live a life where you need to be high or vaping all the time. Eventually something’s gotta give – and for now that should be the vape.

I don’t vape anymore for many, many reasons. It’s expensive, it’s unhealthy, it’s uncontrollable, and it’s a gateway to other bad habits. One of the biggest reasons, for me, is that it minimalizes my optimism for my future. If I continued to vape, even on and off, eventually I’d have to pay that price. I felt my life open up when I quit. My motivation levels increased and I feel like I can take on the world because I don’t have this weight on my shoulders. I feel like I’m closer to who I want to be. Vaping was holding me back and I chose to set myself free.

When you have a vape, it becomes your favorite stimulant. When you feel like you need it, there’s nothing to stop you from getting it. Remember when you traveled 30 minutes to your grandma’s to get it after leaving it over there thinking that would be enough distance to “control” the addiction.

On Thursday, March 14, 2024 you went and bought a vape. You felt not very good about how you were progressing with the album and so you caved. You went and upon first hit, I won’t lie, it was heavenly. Sadly, it didn’t make any of the stress about the album go away. It was very disappointing. Every time you’ve ever relapsed you’ve been disappointed by how little it does to ease the feelings that preempted the relapse. After hitting it throughout the day you noticed your stomach hurt a lot. You pooped more often and overall it made me feel not very good in my body. Sickly is the best word to describe it. It also made you less hungry. Would not recommend going back if you’ve quit, it’s not all you think it’s cracked up to be.

Another reason you may come up with is to focus on the music and to act as a stimulant while you’re recording or working with your friends. I wrote this on March 23rd, 2024 when I recommitted to not vaping.

“I’ve been vaping for a little over a week now (about 9 days) and it’s been nice at times, but it has definitely left me worse off. My old bad habits are back in full, old patterns have returned and I feel worse because of it. I used it to finish ‘DIE ANYWAY’ and that was cool but I don’t think I needed it. What I needed was time and patience.

This artistic thing is a process. One you have to trust in fully and just obey. Do the work and it will come together. Everything you need is in you. It always has been. It may be taking longer than you want it to but good things come in their own time. Keep putting in the reps and enjoy the journey. It’s fun to be alive. It is scary but it’s better than the alternative. I got a vape to relieve the pressure that I manufactured about the album.

It’s just awful. I don’t feel good lots of the time. It really, really takes a lot out of me and I actually think I need ALL OF ME in order to finish the album properly. I need to be focused on that. I know this next week will be tough because my mind is back to being used to having the vape to fall back on but I’m so much better off without it. I believe that I cannot fully be me with it. This is not me. So I quit again, for the last time. Use this as a reminder of what the longtail of a relapse actually looks like. I’m honestly glad I relapsed so I can now be sure of what side of the grass is greener and it’s 1000% vape free. Yes the weed has it’s own issues but that’s not nearly as destructive as this little fucken flavored smoke thing. You are better off without it, trust me. Go live your life and become entrenched in that. It’s sucks sometimes, yes, but it’s always worth doing. Even more so than the album, life too is a process. Trust in it. Happiness is not found in a cloud of smoke, it exists within you in this moment, and this stupid vape stands between you and the moment. Let it go.”

Be strong. Take a few deep breaths, drink some water and choose to stay in the light. You can beat the devil.

DO NOT GET A VAPE